I’ve been feeling a bit sad lately, even if it didn’t show on the outside. I’ve been thinking about different things, and I suppose 90 percent of those thoughts were sad, or angry.
As most of you will already know, I am Australian, and always will be.. but at the moment, the place I have to call home is Italy. For most people, it would sound amazing to live in a foreign country and be learning about and exploring a new country… but for me it’s different.
13 years ago, my 4 siblings and my Mum and Dad went to Italy for just under a year. Dad had a scholarship in a little town called Urbania, and they like it so much they stayed for 11 months! In 2005, this time with me, we went again for about 3 months. My parents wanted to give me the same opportunity as my siblings had, to come to Italy as a then 10 year old.
Before we left, in March last year I was so excited… I had a little calendar to cross the days off until we left, and I packed my bags months before we left. That excitement and joy lasted until my Dad was given a TWO year contract to work at an Australian sports Centre near Milan. I can’t really explain in words what it felt like… One day I was a tourist and the next I was a student at the local elementary school… literally.
It was, and still is extremely hard for me. I felt as if my world had been taken away from me. All my family, friends, teachers… my whole life, was left in Australia. There were days when I was very angry at my parents, and there were days where I balled my eyes out… I wanted to see my family, my sisters, my brothers, my dogs.. but I couldn’t.
The hardest part was knowing that my old life was now washed away in the past, taken away by a storm. I couldn’t go back. In my head I am constantly screaming, crying.. trying to take everything in but I can’t. I just can’t live here.. but there’s nothing I can do to go back.
Then there’s high school, I should be starting in February 2017, but who knows if my parents will let me go back by myself.. to a country more than 14000 kilometers away.
Sorry for such a rambly blog today. If anyone has any advice I would love to hear it!
Until the next post,