Sadness..

I’ve been feeling a bit sad lately, even if it didn’t show on the outside. I’ve been thinking about different things, and I suppose 90 percent of those thoughts were sad, or angry. 

As most of you will already know, I am Australian, and always will be.. but at the moment, the place I have to call home is Italy. For most people, it would sound amazing to live in a foreign country and be learning about and exploring a new country… but for me it’s different. 

13 years ago, my 4 siblings and my Mum and Dad went to Italy for just under a year. Dad had a scholarship in a little town called Urbania, and they like it so much they stayed for 11 months! In 2005, this time with me, we went again for about 3 months. My parents wanted to give me the same opportunity as my siblings had, to come to Italy as a then 10 year old. 

Before we left, in March last year I was so excited… I had a little calendar to cross the days off until we left, and I packed my bags months before we left. That excitement and joy lasted until my Dad was given a TWO year contract to work at an Australian sports Centre near Milan. I can’t really explain in words what it felt like… One day I was a tourist and the next I was a student at the local elementary school… literally. 

It was, and still is extremely hard for me. I felt as if my world had been taken away from me. All my family, friends, teachers… my whole life, was left in Australia. There were days when I was very angry at my parents, and there were days where I balled my eyes out… I wanted to see my family, my sisters, my brothers, my dogs.. but I couldn’t.

The hardest part was knowing that my old life was now washed away in the past, taken away by a storm. I couldn’t go back. In my head I am constantly screaming, crying.. trying to take everything in but I can’t. I just can’t live here.. but there’s nothing I can do to go back.

Then there’s high school, I should be starting in February 2017, but who knows if my parents will let me go back by myself.. to a country more than 14000 kilometers away.
Sorry for such a rambly blog today. If anyone has any advice I would love to hear it!
Until the next post,

Lucia

Advertisements

8 thoughts on “Sadness..

  1. Rosypop says:

    I know I can’t do much, but don’t over think things! Do the things that you know will make you happy. After all it your life! I know exactly how you feel because I had to move to a different country as well. Maybe if you try and be a bit positive and let someone know how you feel, it’d be a bit easier! Stay strong, I’m always here for you! Xxx πŸ’—

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Birdree says:

    No don’t worry, the best thing is to write what makes you sad, we’re here to hear you, you can say anything you want! I don’t know the feeling of leaving my friends and family but it must be really hard! Be strong and listen to your heart! πŸ™‚ xx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Maria Murphy says:

    Luci, This is the first time I have been able to leave a message because in the past, the system has shut down on me. I am sorry to hear that you are feeling so sad. The way you are able to communicate your thoughts and feelings in writing is a really wonderful gift that you have Luci and it will help you to cope with your emotions. I remember somebody saying to me once that to experience the mountain top highs you sometimes have to experience what it is like in the valley. Most people that you know would probably consider you to be on the mountain top right now but it’s not that way for you. I think your mountain top experience will come in your early adult years when you are able to visit some of the amazing people that you are meeting now! Remember how Rhiannon has been able to catch up with friends in Italy when she has done her triathlon touring around Europe? It might be hard for you to imagine what that mountain top experience might be like but it will come!!! We have FaceTime on my phone and I know that the boys love chatting to you face-to-face. We just forget to do it! But if you feel like chatting before you head off to bed, that is probably a good time for us to chat because the boys will be just waking up. Like now! I might get off here and see if I can ring you! Chin up Luci! We will see you in just over a month! xx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Luke Roberts says:

    Luci, mi fa sentire male quando sei triste. Comunque ti devo dire che anche se ti senti triste qualche volta, con questo viaggio stai facendo delle cose grandissime! Ad esempio i tuoi ottimi risultati di scuola, le amicizie e tutte le esperienze belle gia’ fatte. Qualche volta sembra difficile adesso ma io sono sicuro che nel futuro apprezzerai questa bellissima opportunita’. Poi ci siamo noi!! I tuoi carissimi genitori che ti vogliamo tanto bene!! πŸ™‚ xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s